How do you deal with someone who doesn’t like you?
We’ve all been there at some point in our lives, having someone who doesn’t like us.
Regardless of how much we try to get close to that person, it just wouldn’t work out.
And this might be giving you a lot of concerns.
Not to worry, this blog post will show you how to tackle this challenge.
How To Deal With Someone Who Doesn’t Like You
As humans, we naturally desire to build relationships with other people, especially mutually beneficial relationships.
However, despite our best efforts, it might not work out with some people.
Dealing with a situation where someone doesn’t like you can happen either in your personal or professional life.
In your personal life, these might be your neighbors, acquaintances, or even some family members.
They might just not be happy with or accept you regardless of how hard you try.
In the workplace also, you might sometimes have people who don’t like you.
Many of these are usually co-workers who might feel threatened by your presence or just dislike something about your personality.
Worst still, this dislike might even be from your employer or someone else in a top managerial position in your organization.
When you have someone who doesn’t like you, it can be tough to deal with such a person.
This is especially hard when you have to relate with them regularly or are keen on forging a relationship with them.
If you are unsure why someone dislikes you, we will review many reasons people dislike you.
Very likely, you would figure out what is responsible for the dislike you are experiencing.
And of course, we will also consider the practical measures you can take when dealing with someone who doesn’t like you.
But first, let us see some signs that indicate someone doesn’t like you, so you know how to deal with that.
Or, in other words, how to know when someone doesn’t like you.
How to Deal With Someone Who Doesn’t Like You – How to Know When Someone Doesn’t Like You
It is not that difficult to tell when someone doesn’t like you.
This is one thing that cannot be faked for long.
You can easily tell when someone doesn’t like you, especially how they relate to you and their body language.
However, if you are still unsure whether or not someone likes you, here are some signs that can help reveal this:
They Hardly Listen to You
Sometimes, no matter how sensible and wise your words are or the contributions you make, some people will just not listen to you.
This is often common in the workplace, where you might have a co-worker who never pays attention to anything you have to say.
They might not give you the chance to talk at all or always move to shut you down whenever you try.
While this is not always a sign of dislike, it is one of the signs you get from someone who doesn’t like you, which you will need to deal with.
They Always Stay Away from You
Distancing themselves from you is yet another sign to indicate that someone doesn’t like you, and you will have to deal with that.
It could be that you are in the midst of friends or family members, and there is that one person in the group who always moves away when you join the gathering.
Even if they remain in the group, they might be prone to stay far away from you and try to avoid you.
You can glaringly see them constantly trying to keep their distance from you and everything that concerns you.
That is a sign of dislike.
They Force Themselves to Smile With You
Smiling with people is often a clear indication that you are comfortable being around them.
It also shows that you are fond of those people and you like them.
However, it is possible to fake smiles, as you might already know by now.
Thankfully, fake smiles are not that difficult to spot.
You can quickly tell when a person is forcing themselves to smile as the emotions aren’t just the same as a real one.
When you notice that someone is not smiling with you freely and genuinely but forcing themselves to show that emotion, it signals that they don’t like you.
The Body Language is Poor
Did you know that when someone doesn’t like you, it shows in their body language?
If you are very attentive, you will notice a sign of dislike in how someone stands, sits, positions some body parts, and even facial expressions.
Here are some of the body language that might point to the fact that someone doesn’t like you:
They don’t maintain eye contact with you; they cross their arms when discussing with you, looking the other way, turning their body completely from you e.t.c.
Note that some of these body languages might be indicative of a different thing, such as shyness.
Hence, do not conclude based on just one of these signs.
Usually, a combination of many signs would indicate that someone doesn’t like you.
They Aren’t Interested in Having Long Conversations with You
Another indicator that someone doesn’t like you and you need to deal with it is when they do not seem interested in having a long conversation with you.
When you like someone or are fond of them, you don’t just give them one-word answers to questions or conversations.
Instead, you are prompted to want to say more and make the conversation long and rich.
Hence, when you are trying to have a conversation with someone, and they always give you short answers that show they are not invested in the discussion, it’s clear that they don’t like you.
They Are Too Judgemental Towards You
One other thing that someone who doesn’t like you does to you is constantly being judgemental of you, which you will need to deal with.
They do this even for the most insignificant or little things.
You might find that such ones criticize you at every opportunity they get.
They might not even mind doing this in front of other people and embarrass you in the process.
When you notice such traits in a person, it can also show that they do not like you.
They Keep Lying to You
Contrary to whatever you might have heard before now, people who like you do not lie to you, not even when they think that the truth might hurt you like they sometimes claim.
One of the signs indicating that someone likes you is sincerity in their dealings with you, as they wouldn’t want to hurt you with a lie.
Even when what they want to tell you might not be what you want to hear, they tell you anyway when it’s the truth.
If you have someone who constantly lies to you without remorse, it’s possible they don’t like you.
They Don’t Involve you in Their Plans
Do you know someone very comfortable planning things with others, inviting them over, and hanging out with them but never caring to involve you?
That can also be an indication that they don’t like you.
Sometimes, they might make numerous excuses on why they do not involve you in their plans.
The most common one might be that they forget to inform you.
Well, that is a bad sign already.
Someone who likes you will always remember you when making plans, especially those that benefit you or fun events.
If they don’t, they most likely do not like you.
They Hide Great Opportunities From You
What other sign that someone doesn’t like you could be more glaring than this?
When someone is fond of hiding great opportunities that might benefit you personally or professionally, it’s a sign of dislike.
Someone who genuinely likes you will always think about you first when great opportunities come up.
This is because they are genuinely interested in your success and would love not only to see you excel but be a part of that.
Therefore, if there are signs that someone in your group, around you, or in your clique won’t share great opportunities with you, the person does not like you.
Your Guts Just Tell You So
There are times when a lot of the signs we’ve discussed so far might not be readily visible in someone, but your guts just tell you that someone doesn’t like you.
Well, many times, our guts do so much, even more than we give it credit for.
Learn to trust your guts also when trying to figure out if someone likes you or not.
Above all, the chances of being wrong are very slim in cases like this, and taking quick action based on what your guts tell you might save you many heartaches.
How to Deal With Someone Who Doesn’t Like You – Reasons Why Someone Might Not Like You
When it comes to reasons why someone doesn’t like you, the blame goes both ways.
It might be easier to fault the person who doesn’t like you as the one who has the problem.
However, sometimes, the reason why someone doesn’t like you could be a negative trait of yours that needs fixing.
Here, we will see those reasons from both angles; negativity from the person who doesn’t like you and some things you might be doing wrong yourself.
A prevalent reason why someone doesn’t like you, which is from them, is jealousy or envy.
This happens when they feel or see that you have certain things or privileges they wish they have themselves.
It could be that you are doing better in life than they are, or you might be getting more recognition at work than them.
This could make someone not like you.
Another reason someone doesn’t like you might be because of what others tell them about you.
There are instances where an individual might not necessarily have something against you personally but dislike you because of the stories they hear from others.
It is also possible that someone doesn’t like you because they see you as a threat to them.
It might be in the organization where you work.
There might be a co-worker who feels threatened by you, maybe because of your skills or talents.
Such a person might just develop a dislike for you.
Other Reasons
As mentioned earlier, reasons why someone might not like you are not necessarily limited to them having a negative attitude towards you.
It might also be some traits about you or things you do that turn people off.
One bad trait you can exhibit that might make someone not like you is pride or having an inflated view of yourself.
This is usually a turn-off for many people, and proud people don’t make many friends.
Another reason someone might not like you could be that you always try to dominate discussions and make everything about yourself.
It might be that during a meet-up with friends, you always talk too much.
It could also be during association with fellow employees in your workplace.
When you talk too much and try to impose your views on others, it can make someone or people not like you.
You might also find that someone close to you doesn’t like you because you have a self-righteous attitude.
That means you overly criticize and judge them while appearing to be the better person.
This is also something that can drive someone away from you.
Additionally, people who are hateful and resentful do not make many friends.
It could be that you are bad towards others, or you hold onto a grudge too often.
That could also be a reason why someone might not like you.
How to Deal with Someone Who Doesn’t Like You
Having to deal with someone who doesn’t like you is anything but an easy and satisfying experience.
It is more challenging when this person is someone you have to put up with every day, maybe in the workplace.
It can also be a great source of concern if the person in question is a close associate, such as a friend or family member.
Nevertheless, having someone who doesn’t like you shouldn’t come as a surprise.
The truth remains that everyone cannot like us, and you should expect this.
However, as we’ve seen, certain actions can cause such dislikes, which can either be avoided or corrected.
Therefore, here are some practical steps you can take to deal with someone who doesn’t like you:
Find Out Why
Without a doubt, the first thing you need to do when you realize that someone doesn’t like you is to find out the reason for this.
The reason is often not far-fetched and can be seen from the events leading up to the dislike or other factors.
However, if you find it hard to figure out why someone doesn’t like you, engaging them in that conversation might be appropriate.
This is especially applicable if you have had a good relationship with such a person before and things suddenly fell apart.
Having that conversation can reveal a lot about why the person has suddenly developed a dislike for you.
How to Deal With Someone Who Doesn’t Like You – Focus on Yourself First
It is often too easy to conclude that someone doesn’t like you because of just a negative feeling on the part of the individual.
We might be blinded to things about us that could be responsible for this.
When dealing with someone who doesn’t like you, you should honestly examine yourself.
Are there certain attitudes or behaviors you have that are offensive and considered insensitive?
You can know if you are the problem by asking the people around you to give their opinion on your personality.
It would surprise you to find one or two things that make people or a particular person dislike you.
Understand That Not Everyone Will Like You
Another thing that can help you when dealing with someone who doesn’t like you is understanding the fact that not everyone will like you.
Sometimes, the problem is not in the person not liking you, but in the unrealistic expectation that everyone should and must like you.
Hence, regardless of your best motives, there would be some who just wouldn’t want to get close to you and like you.
They might not even have genuine or serious reasons for this attitude.
Having this knowledge can help you decide what bridges to build and which ones to let be.
Have a Conversation with the Person (If Need Be)
Some relationships are essential to you, that you want to repair them.
An example is a relationship with an employer or an important colleague in your team.
When these people don’t like you, it might be difficult just to look away and appear not to care about it.
Therefore, if the person who doesn’t like you is someone you would want to have a good relationship with, it would be fitting to engage them in a conversation.
However, be careful not to make the conversation confrontational, as this would defeat the aim of the meeting.
Who knows?
There might just be a huge misunderstanding, and the tete a tete would reveal this and change everything.
A Little Distance for a While Might Help
Could it be that someone is starting to dislike you because they spend a lot of time with you?
Sometimes, people you were once cool and free with start distancing themselves from you or even dislike you.
You might be confused about why that is so and might even be so sure you’ve done nothing wrong.
In such situations, take a break.
Giving them a bit of distance for a short time might return the respect and affection they have for you.
And before long, you can have them back liking you.
Don’t Badmouth or Gossip About Them
When you find out that someone doesn’t like you, there is a tendency to want to return the favor by doing things that would hurt them in return.
This is especially so if their actions have caused you great hurt or pain.
However, try your best not to badmouth this person or spread gossip about them to others.
Maybe this individual is in your place of work.
Do not talk ill of them to other employees or even your boss at work.
This would only make the situation worse.
If they have spoken badly about you to mutual friends, you can talk to them to clear yourself.
However, avoid the temptation of speaking poorly of them in return.
Avoid the Urge to Get Violent
Someone who doesn’t like you might go to the extent of spreading wicked lies about you or slander you.
They might even take actions that might ruin your chances of getting good opportunities.
What might come to your mind in such a situation is to want to engage them.
Take care not to exchange words with these or get back at them for what they did to you.
This would be equivalent to stooping low to their level and can only cause more problems.
Even when you’re having a conversation with them and they start drifting or using insulting language, try to stay calm and do not resort to violence.
Focus on the Positives
When someone dislikes you, it can be a real challenge to find your self-confidence and self-esteem.
You might overthink the situation or concluding that the problem is from you.
However, try to focus on the many positives around you.
It might be that this one person is the only one who doesn’t like you in a group.
Do not let their actions or inactions define who you are.
Speak with others who like you and try to find out what they think about you.
You might just find a lot more reasons to like yourself more and keep your head up.
Kindness can do the Magic
Experiences have shown that someone who doesn’t like you can turn back and become kind to you when you repay their hatred with kindness.
Kindness is one quality that has proven to be very effective in softening even the toughest of hearts.
It is possible to win over someone who doesn’t like you by performing acts of kindness towards them.
However, it would be good to notice how they react to the kindness you show them.
If they are not forthcoming with their likeness, it might be a time to call it to quit.
Don’t Be Afraid to Let Them Go
When someone doesn’t like you, you try your best to understand why and correct the situation.
However, whatever you do doesn’t just seem to work.
At such times, it might be draining for you to try to salvage such relationships.
As earlier mentioned, it is practically impossible to get everyone to like you.
Therefore, know when to let go of some relationships or friendships.
Also, when your interactions with such a person are getting dangerous and harmful, it might be time to say goodbye.
Final Words on How To Deal With Someone Who Doesn’t Like You
Overall, these are some ways to handle situations when someone doesn’t like you, either in personal or professional relationships.
Ultimately, not everyone would like you.
This is because some people are just narcissistic, and nothing you do ever pleases them.
Hence, when you’ve tried all you can but there’s seems to be no change, it’s best to let go of such relationships to preserve your mental health.
However, before giving up on that relationship, put these tips to use.
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