How To Overcome Defeat

How To Overcome Defeat

Do you want to know how to overcome defeat?

If you do, then come along with us.

We don’t win every time in life.

There will be times when we will be faced with defeat.

It is the way that we handle a defeat that will determine if we will overcome it and move on.

If you cannot accept and move past a defeat, you will be stuck unable to make progress or achieve success.

You need to stand tall and move forward in your life even after you have been defeated.

So, come along with us as we guide you on how to overcome defeat.

To begin, let’s take a look at what defeat is.

What Is Defeat? – How to Overcome Defeat

Defeat can be defined as the experience of being won in a game, contest, or battle.

It is also failing to achieve something that you wanted.

You cannot face defeat unless you had something you were chasing.

So, we can say that you face defeat when you didn’t meet up to your goal.

If you are the one who defeated someone or something, you are the one on the winning side.

However, we are looking at you as being on the losing side.

How do you cope with that and get over it?

It can be very difficult, especially if you had put your all into ensuring you succeed.

However, you need to move on.

What Does It Mean To Overcome Defeat – How to Overcome Defeat

To overcome defeat means to move on from it and keep working toward those things you want.

It is a process that includes acknowledging, accepting, letting go, and moving on.

Regardless of where and how you encountered defeat, overcoming defeat is important.

You cannot give up and expect to succeed.

So, even if you have faced defeat, brush yourself up, overcome that defeat, and set new goals.

If you cannot effectively do this, you will be stuck repeating that defeat in your mind and unable to move on to other things in your life.

Why You Need To Overcome Defeat – How to Overcome Defeat

When you have experienced defeat you need to move on.

The question is, why?

We would answer that by looking at the following:

To Gain Control Of Yourself – How to Overcome Defeat

Oftentimes, when people are defeated, they lose their cool.

They allow their emotions to control them.

As a result, they often make rash decisions and take poor action.

Hence, overcoming defeat is important to help you gain control of yourself.

To Move Forward

Some people find it difficult to let go of the defeat they face.

It is almost like they are obsessed with it.

This makes them stuck and unable to make progress.

Hence, overcoming defeat is needed to ensure that you move on with your life.

To Learn – How to Overcome Defeat

Whether you believe it or not, you can learn from your defeat and become better.

However, that is not possible if you have not overcome it.

During the process of working to overcome defeat, you will get to know where you did wrong and how you could have done better.

If you make use of this knowledge well, you will learn and do better the next time.

Qualities Needed To Overcome Defeat – How to Overcome Defeat

To overcome defeat, you need certain qualities to ensure that you go through the process and come out strong.

These qualities include:

Clarity – How to Overcome Defeat

As you work to overcome defeat, you need a mind that can get the full picture of things.

In other words, you will need clarity.

When you can understand things clearly, you will know what you ought to do.

You can gain clarity in different situations by:

  • Identifying what matters
  • Eliminating distractions
  • Eating well
  • Writing out your thoughts


Resilience is the ability to quickly recover from setbacks or difficulties.

It ensures that you don’t stay stuck in whatever you went through a tough time.

As a result of this, being resilient can come in useful when you have encountered defeat.

It will make you not quickly move on instead of staying stuck in the defeat you have encountered.

You can develop resilience by doing the following:

  • Learning to relax
  • Maintaining perspective
  • Building self-confidence
  • Practicing thought awareness
  • Choosing your reactions
  • Learning from failures and mistakes

Determination – How to Overcome Defeat

Overcoming defeat takes guts.

If you are not the determined type, you will struggle with moving past and overcoming defeat.

So, you need to train yourself to be determined.

You can train yourself to be determined by doing the following:

  • Playing to your strengths
  • Defining success for yourself
  • Avoid distractions

Lack of Self Pity

People who feel too much pity for themselves often struggle to overcome defeat.

This is because they don’t allow themselves to see past whatever they are going through.

They rather wallow in negativity.

This doesn’t help.

Hence to overcome defeat you need to lack self-pity.

Yes, it is normal to feel bad when you experienced defeat.

However, you need to understand that feeling bad will not change anything for the better, but rather make things worse.

So, you need to lack self-pity.

Visualization of the Future – How to Overcome Defeat

Visualization of the future means the ability to imagine and see what has not happened as if it has.

It is good for pursuing goals.

Overcoming the defeat you have encountered is considered a goal.

Hence, visualization of the future can come in handy.

It allows you to see what you want and boost your motivation to get it.

When you can visualize yourself overcoming the defeat you faced, you will find it easier to put your best into actualizing your goal.


Another quality you need to overcome defeat is positivity.

Positivity ensures that you see things from a bright perceptive.

This can make you see and come up with ideas on how to move forwards and overcome the defeat you have encountered.

It can also come in handy to avoid exhibiting self-pity.

So, if you are not positive, you should learn to be.

You can become a positive person by doing some of the following:

  • Practicing gratitude
  • Find humor in situations
  • Practicing positive affirmations
  • Focusing on good things
  • Meditating

Open-mindedness – How to Overcome Defeat  

You need to be open-minded when working to overcome defeat.

To be open-minded means to be receptive to different ideas, perceptive, and information.

If you can train yourself to welcome ideas that are not yours, you will find it easier to overcome the defeat you encountered.

This is because you will not be limited to only your ideas.

Check here to know more about being open-minded and the business benefits it can attract.

Tips on How to Overcome Defeat

Overcoming defeat is a process that includes acknowledging, accepting, letting go, and moving on.

The following tips will help to ensure that you accept, let go, and move on from a defeat:

1. Understand Your Emotions

When you encounter defeat, you might likely feel shame, anger, sadness, disappointment, and other feelings like that.

Having these feelings are normal.

So, don’t beat yourself up for feeling them.

However, to overcome the defeat you have encountered, you will need to understand them.

For example, if you feel shame, you need to question yourself about why you feel that way.

Understanding what your feelings are is the first step toward accepting and overcoming defeat

So, think of a time when you succeeded, and then compare how you feel being defeated and how you felt when you succeeded.

Also, consider those feelings and things that are the same for when you succeeded and when you got defeated.

You can write down whatever you got from your consideration.

If you feel the need to talk to someone to better understand how you feel, then do so with a trusted person.

2. Don’t Act On Your Feelings – How to Overcome Defeat

Feeling anger, sadness, shame, or disappointment is not a bad thing.

Understand that emotions are not inherently bad or good.

It is the way you deal with them that matters.

As we said earlier, you need to accept your feelings to overcome defeat.

However, you should only stop at accepting those feelings.

Yes, they are not necessarily “bad” feelings, but following and acting on certain feelings can be unhealthy and unwise for you.

So, as you accept them, avoid acting on them.

3. Keep Your Cool

The best way to overcome defeat is by having a clear perspective.

You need to be levelheaded.

Being levelheaded will ensure that you don’t do things irrationally or get swallowed into self-pity.

You can train yourself to be levelheaded when you understand that there is no changing what has already happened.

Yes, it might seem like it is the end of the world at the moment, but you have to remember that life is still going on.  

When you can see things from this perceptive and keep your cool, you will handle negativity better and move on with your life.

4. Think Positively and Find Humor – How to Overcome Defeat

Being positive is important in helping you overcome defeat.

Regardless of how gloomy a situation seems, understand that it could be worse.

However, it isn’t.

There is something positive in even the gloomiest situation.

So, seek that silver lining in your situation and boost your positivity.

Find humor in the situation you are facing and keep smiling even if it might be difficult.

If you take out your position and investment in the situation you are facing, you might find it to be smaller and funny.

5. Let It Go

Whenever people encounter failures and mistakes, they can tend to distort their perspective.

Hence, they might end up lingering on those failures and mistakes and allow them to keep defeating them.

Ultimately, they will feel emotions that will only make the defeat they faced stronger and keep them down.

This shouldn’t be you.

So, you have to be careful.

Rather than allow your perspective to be distorted, you have to learn to identify those non-accepting feelings and do away with them.

If someone had a hand in your defeat, you might feel the need to seek retribution.

However, you have to understand that if you do that, you are only holding on to that defeat.

So, instead of doing that, consider letting go of the need to serve retribution or revenge.

Also, don’t practice self-pity and judgment as they will not help you to overcome your defeat.

Understand and accept that you are not the first person to encounter defeat.

It happens in life.

So, one has to learn to deal with and overcome it.

6. Be a Good Sport – How to Overcome Defeat

Sometimes your defeat might have involved someone else.

For example, let’s assume you were pursuing an investment from a group of investors and lost that investment to another businessperson.

You will see the other businessperson as an opponent who won you.

Hence, we can say that this person is someone who defeated you.

When this happens to you, you will most likely feel disappointed and even angry with the other businessperson.

Your feelings might be so intense that you might likely consider a sort of retribution or demonstrate pettiness.

However, as we said earlier, you shouldn’t.

Rather, you should be a good sport.

Don’t consider this person to be the enemy.

Yes, you might seem like you put in your best than the other person and they still won.

Nonetheless, they are not the enemy.

So, don’t hate on them.

Rather, be polite and congratulate them on their win.

When you can do this, the defeat will not hold on to you.

You will easily move on to better and bigger things in your life.

7. Don’t Let People’s Judgment Affect You

As much as you need to avoid judging yourself after a defeat, you also need to learn to not allow other people’s judgment to affect you.

When you face defeat, people will most likely judge and mock you for it.

They might mock you and say things to discourage you further.

However, you shouldn’t allow them to affect you.

Yes, you might not be capable of shunning most people from judging you, but you can control your reaction.

You can learn to ignore people’s mockery or judgment by knowing and believing in yourself.

People who don’t know you for who you are shouldn’t affect your feelings.

Learn to survive without the validation of people.

8. Don’t Lay Blame – How to Overcome Defeat

You cannot accept what happened if you lay blame on circumstances or people for the defeat you faced.

Also, you will not be able to move on and grow from your defeat if you lay blame on yourself.

Laying blame will only make you bitter and miserable.

So, don’t lay blame.

Understand that the defeat has already happened, and blaming people, circumstances, or yourself will change.

9. Learn From The Defeat

You cannot change what happened but you can learn from it.

Understand that you can still get something valuable from defeat only when you are ready to learn from it.

So, rather than cry over spilled milk, reflect on what happened.

When you have a clear understanding of what happened, you will grow and learn to do better.

As a result, you will not only be moving past that defeat but also get a win from it.

10. Reaffirm or Improve Your Goals – How to Overcome Defeat

Most defeats happen when we didn’t meet our goal.

So, now that you have accepted, let go, and learn from your defeat, you need to forge ahead.

The best way in doing this is by reaffirming or improving your goals.

What this means is that you need to start setting new and better goals.

Setting new goals will help you move past your defeat.

So, set new SMART goals for yourself.

Ensure that you make use of the knowledge you gathered from your defeat to do better with your new goal.

11. Create a Backup Plan

As you now know, defeat can occur.

So, you need to be careful and not be over-confidence as you set and pursue your new goal.

In other words, you need to have a backup plan.

As you set your goal, also have something to fall back on if you end up not achieving your goal.

12. Believe In Yourself – How to Overcome Defeat

You need to believe in yourself as you move on and set out on your new pursuit.

Don’t let the defeat you faced in the past hunt you.

Have a positive-minded, be confident but not over-confident.

When you push away doubt and fear, and work hard and smart towards your goal, you will achieve success.

13. Know That You’re Not Alone

This might sound strange but know that you are not alone.

Other people in life have faced defeat at one point in their life.

So, now that you have faced defeat, it is only normal.

Therefore, you shouldn’t beat yourself up that it happened.

Draw strength from those people who have faced defeat and overcome it.

Use the strength you have gotten from them and move on with your life.

14. Get Help – How to Overcome Defeat

You can seek help from your family members, friends, or your mentor if you don’t have enough strength to focus on your new goals.

They will help to guide and support you.

So, let them know how and why you are struggling to focus or refocus on your goal.

Also, tell them what your new goal is.

When you do, they should assist you in coming up with an idea to focus on and chase your goal.

Conclusion on How to Overcome Defeat  

Defeat can happen to anybody.

It is the way you deal with it and work to overcome it that matters.

Overcoming defeat is considered to be a process of acknowledging and accepting a defeat, letting it go, and then moving on.

If you cannot do this, you will be stuck in the past unable to make progress.

Some things you can do to overcome defeat include understanding your emotions, keeping your cool, being a good sport, learning from the defeat, and so on.