Almost everybody talks to themselves at one point or the other. However, several people don’t like to admit that they do this because they think it’s a bad thing. But you should know that talking to yourself isn’t bad as most people think and it comes with amazing benefits. To enjoy these benefits, you need to know how to talk to yourself to avoid doing it the wrong way.
In this discussion, there will be tips that will teach you how to properly talk to yourself.
So, carefully follow it through.
Without further ado, let’s begin.
Types of Self-Talk – How To Talk To Yourself
The term “self-talk” is used to refer to when you talk to yourself.
Some people even refer to talking to themselves as inner monologue, inner speech, or inner dialogue.
However, not all self-talks are done internally in the mind.
Sometimes you speak to yourself out loud.
This is not bad.
However, you will have to be careful the way you do it.
When it comes to self-talk there are two types and they are:
Positive Self-talk – How To Talk To Yourself
Positive self-talk is when people speak to themselves positively.
This type of talk aims to make you feel better or become better.
In other words, when you engage in positive self-talk it serves as affirmation or encouragement that keeps you inspired or motivated.
Positive self-talk can be done internally or externally.
In other words, someone can talk aloud to themselves or have an inner talk in their mind.
It can also be purposeful or random in the sense that you can be talking to yourself to instruct or motivate yourself; or you can positively talk to yourself for no actual reason.
For example, you can just randomly say something like “I am great and I know it”.
When you do this, you are making yourself feel better.
You should engage more in talking to yourself positively if you want to be happy, successful, and productive.
Unlike positive self-talk, negative self-talk doesn’t help a person.
It only works to wreak havoc on a person’s confidence and self-esteem.
Negative self-talk can be done internally and externally.
Most people don’t want to talk negatively to themselves.
However, they find themselves randomly doing that when they are overwhelmed with emotions and situations.
This doesn’t help.
So, if you want to be happy and successful in life, then you should be careful not to engage in negative self-talk.
When you find yourself feeling or thinking negatively that is the time to implement positive self-talk.
Benefits Of Talking To Yourself – How To Talk To Yourself
When you engage in talking to yourself the right way, here are some benefits you will enjoy:
Improves Problem-solving – How To Talk To Yourself
Your problem-solving abilities can get a boost when you talk to yourself.
You can use self-talk to organize your thoughts and break down situations and solve issues.
For example, let’s assume you wrote out your shopping list the day before and went to bed planning to go shopping the next day.
However, the next day as you prepare to go shopping, you realize that you can’t find the shopping list.
You are behind time and can’t write out another list, so you begin searching for the list.
Let’s assume that you go around your house searching and asking yourself out loud “where is the list?”
When you do this, your mind will focus on working to remember where you drop the list and because of this you will easily find where you left the list.
What this means is that talking to yourself makes your mind more engaged and active, and this enables you to solve problems easier.
Another benefit that you can get from talking to yourself is an increase in your ability to focus.
This is because engaging in self-talk makes more parts of your mind more functional.
As a result, you will pay more attention to whatever you are doing or wherever you find yourself.
Also, since self-talk can be instructional, it can help you to understand things better and focus better.
For example, let’s assume that you have a task on hand to perform.
But, you can’t focus your mind on the task because it seems complex.
So, you start talking to yourself about how you are to perform that task.
When you do this, you will understand the task better and this will help you to go about the task step by step.
If you keep talking about what you should do step by step, you will notice that you are more focused and performing the task well.
Check here to discover 12 strategies and tips to improve your focus at work.
Serves As a Motivation
Self-talks can also be pep-talk.
What this means is that you can prepare yourself for whatever you want to do or pursue.
When you do this, it serves as a motivation for you.
Furthermore, when you are down, talking to yourself positively can go a long way in encouraging you and making you feel better.
Hearing encouraging words from yourself will motivate you to do better.
Helps To Deal With Difficult Feelings
Talking to yourself can be useful in dealing with difficult feelings.
Some experiences and feelings are deeply rooted and private that you can’t share with other people, even your loved or trusted ones.
As a result, you will have to deal with the feeling by yourself.
Talking to yourself can be therapeutic in helping you sort out your feelings.
It will help you to see the situation and understand and validate your feelings.
This way you will accept them and move on.
It Enhances Self-awareness – How To Talk To Yourself
Some people lack self-awareness.
They don’t know how their emotions can affect their actions and personal values.
This makes them miss out on opportunities to grow and become better.
If these people should engage in talking to themselves, they will discover things about themselves that they don’t know.
When this happens their self-awareness will be enhanced.
It Can Relief Stress
Another benefit of talking to yourself is that it can work to relieve you of stress.
Talking to yourself, especially aloud can help you vent out any frustration you might be feeling.
Venting out your frustration does not mean that you would resort to talking negatively to yourself.
It is just for you to speak about those things that you are stressed about.
When you do this it will help you organize and find a solution for whatever is stressing you out.
This will go a long way in making you feel more relaxed.
Tips on How To Talk To Yourself
Talking to yourself is not as awful as you might have thought.
So, if you are open to engaging in self-talk, here are some tips that you can use to do it well:
1. Speak Only Positive Words
Whatever you say to yourself has a significant effect on your life.
It can either make or mar you.
So, you have to ensure that you are careful when you talk to yourself.
In other words, you need to avoid using negative words.
Whatever negative words that you want to say to yourself, reframe them.
Even when you have not gotten or achieved what you want, acknowledge and appreciate your effort for what you have done so far.
For example, don’t say things like “You are not doing your best, you will never make it”
Rather say, “You are putting in good work, keep at it and with time you will make it”
Making use of only positive words will encourage and motivate you even when things aren’t going well.
However, as you make use of positive words you should avoid making them unrealistic or overly positive.
For example, when something is difficult admit to it.
Whenever you speak to yourself about it you can say “You find this difficult, but you’re learning and will get better with each day”
Accepting the truth will push you to know where you are lacking and do better.
2. Question Yourself – How To Talk To Yourself
Asking questions is a great way to understand something and get answers.
So, questioning yourself will work effectively for you when you desire to know more about yourself.
However, you should understand that it will not automatically give you the right answer or response.
You might have to take a closer or second look to get the right response for whatever you want to know or understand.
Oftentimes, you might have the answer to the question you are asking, but just need to ask for your mind to focus on it and produce the answer.
3. Make Use of Second Person Pronouns
These pronouns are used when you are talking to another person.
For example, instead of saying “I am amazing” say “You are amazing”
Making use of these pronouns will provide you with distance from your feelings that might want to overwhelm you.
As a result, you will evaluate the situation and your feelings more objectively.
It will be like you are observing another person’s thoughts about you and not yours.
This will allow you to believe what you are saying more.
4. Pay Attention – How To Talk To Yourself
When talking to yourself, you have to ensure that you pay attention to your feelings and situation.
In other words, don’t just talk to yourself but also listen.
Listening will help you have a better understanding of what you are feeling and what the situation is.
The person who knows you the most is yourself.
However, you might not get to know yourself if you don’t pay attention to yourself.
So, when you speak to yourself tune into your feelings.
5. Give Yourself Instructions
When you find yourself slacking at your work, task, or whatever you do, you can redirect your focus and energy by talking to yourself.
However, when you talk to yourself you will need to do it in a way that you would listen.
In other words, you will have to be assertive and give yourself instructions.
When you give instructions you are to be clear about what, how, and when you need to do something.
So, you will not just be talking about how you will do something well, but take steps to do it well.
6. Associate Yourself With Positive People – How To Talk To Yourself
What people say about you can impact what you say to yourself.
Negative statements have a way of sinking into a person’s mind that they will not be capable of forming any positive statement about themselves.
So, as you talk to yourself positively, ensure that you associate with only positive people.
When you hear good things about yourself or other matters from other people, you will find it easy to say good things about yourself.
7. Make It Energetic
Have you ever listened to a motivational speaker?
Do you notice how energetic they sound?
Motivational speakers sound energetic and full of life when they speak because they know that if they don’t they will bore out their listeners.
They know that their listeners will not be inspired or motivated if they are not upbeat.
So, as you talk to yourself make it energetic.
Keep it in an upbeat manner that will keep you going even when there are distractions.
How To Keep It Reined In – How To Talk To Yourself
As much as talking to yourself aloud is great, you have to consider how you feel about it.
So, if you are self-conscious about speaking aloud to yourself you can learn to rein it in.
You might also need to rein in speaking to yourself aloud when you are in public.
The following can help you do this:
Distract Yourself – How To Talk To Yourself
Sometimes when people are occupied in their minds or distracted, they often slip and talk aloud to themselves in public.
This can happen to you too if you engage in talking to yourself.
However, you can learn to rein it in by distracting your mouth.
What this means is that you can minimize the need to speak out loud when your mouth is occupied.
The best way to keep the mouth occupied is by sucking on candy or chewing gum when in public.
When something your mouth is busy, it helps your mind to be reminded of not talking aloud.
So, when in public, keep your mouth busy.
However, you have to ensure that you don’t do it disrespectfully or inappropriately.
Have a Journal
Since you can’t talk to yourself all the time, then writing out your thoughts and feelings can help.
Through journaling, you will discover things about your feelings and thought, and easily explore different solution and ideas.
It will also enable you to track those things you have tried.
Furthermore, it gives you something to look back at.
So, you can consider getting a journal and discovering more about yourself and different situations.
Talk to Other People – How To Talk To Yourself
Rather than speaking to yourself in public, you should talk to other people.
If you have any issues, don’t try to puzzle it out on your own as it might make you start talking to yourself aloud.
Rather, speak with other people who can help you.
Remember That Others Do It
You need to remember that you are not the only one who talks to yourself.
Several people do it to calm their nerves and keep them focused.
So, when you mistakenly talk to yourself aloud in public don’t feel bad about it.
You can casually brush off speaking to yourself.
For example, if someone caught you talking to yourself, you can casually say “Oh, I’m just sorting something important “and move on.
When You Should Be Concerned – How To Talk To Yourself
Should there ever be a time when you should be concerned when it comes to talking to yourself?
The answer to that is yes.
Here are some instances where you should be concerned;
Self-talk Centered On Ruminating Negativity
As you now know, you can talk to yourself negatively.
When you do it hurts your self-esteem, mental health, and confidence.
Hence, when you notice that you talk negatively to yourself and ruminate on it, or you continuously talk about sad, dark thoughts.
Then you might likely be showing signs of depression.
If this is the case, then you need to quickly sort out help.
If you talk to yourself due to hallucination, then you should be concerned.
Hallucination is when you see, hear, and sometimes feel things that are not real.
When a person is hallucinating they might speak out loud as if speaking to someone when they are not.
To them, they are having a conversation, when in reality there is nobody there.
Hallucinations can happen due to different conditions such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, substance use, post-traumatic stress disorder, and metabolic condition.
If this happens to you, then you should seek professional help.
Conclusion on How To Talk To Yourself
Talking to yourself is frowned upon by several people.
However, it should not be so.
This is because talking to yourself can help you to discover more about yourself.
It can help to motivate you, relieve stress, and deal with difficult feelings.
So, you should consider trying out self-talk.
When you try out self-talk you need to know that negativity should not be included in it as it will only destroy.
Rather than to speak to yourself negatively, try positivity.
And while you are doing that ensure that make use of the second person pronouns as they will help you to believe and listen to yourself better.
As you speak to yourself, ensure that you do that properly.
If you discover a concern, then you should not hesitate to seek help.