Do you have people you don’t like and want to know how best to deal with that?
Well, it appears to be a normal human phenomenon to have people who don’t like you and some you don’t like.
It would be unrealistic to expect that everyone will like you or you will like everyone.
Furthermore, humans are designed to have unique personalities and attributes.
Because of this diversity, we tend to pick people we are comfortable with or like and not feel the same for others.
There are many reasons why you might not like some people. However, you’ll need to deal with that mindset.
Furthermore, these reasons could be due to their personalities, behaviors, or attitudes of those people.
We will look at some things that might make you not like some people as we go further.
You can have people you don’t like around you, be it in your personal life or even at work.
For example, when you have people you don’t like at your workplace, this can be very tough.
It can put a serious strain on your relationship with others.
As a result affecting job efficiency in the workplace.
Having people you don’t like doesn’t make you an evil person or someone with bad energy.
However, the way you deal with that is what matters.
Dealing with it the right way can make the situation comfortable for both parties, while getting it wrong can worsen the situation.
That is why we have carefully put together the best measures you can take to deal with people you don’t like effectively.
But first, let us see some of the reasons why you might not like some people.
See if any of these resonate with you.
How to Deal with People You Don’t Like – Reasons Why You Might Not Like Some People
We could bet that there are certain people you don’t like for some reason.
Perhaps while reading this, some names already come to your mind.
Well, you might feel justified in your reasons for not liking them.
While it is true that most times the reasons we don’t like some people are personal and best known to us, we can mention some of the most popular ones.
Careful consideration of human behaviors and patterns has revealed some of the following reasons why people are unlikeable and they are;
They are Selfish or Self-Centered
Have you ever had any reason to relate with self-centered people?
It could be that they always think of themselves only in every situation without regard for others.
How close did you get, or are you with such a person?
The truth is that selfishness is a trait that drives people away from someone.
Very few people would like someone selfish.
This is because selfish people do not think about the interests of others but theirs only.
Do you think this is a reason why you don’t like some people?
They are Egotistical
Another bad trait that people exhibit which makes them unlikeable is being proud and Egotistical.
Egoistic people spend a great deal of their time praising themselves or wanting to have all the attention.
These show little or no regard nor respect for others.
You might have such people around you in your workplace.
They might struggle to accept corrections and be challenging to collaborate with.
When this happens, you might gradually form a dislike for such ones.
Would we be right to say you also don’t like people who are proud and Egotistic?
They Gossip About You or Others
On the list of things that can be quite difficult to put up with and make you not like some people is habitual gossip.
This goes two ways.
It could be that these are fond of gossiping about you to others, and you always get to find out one way or another.
It might also be that they regularly come to you with gossip about other people.
Unless you are a gossiper yourself, this attitude irritates most people and might be a reason for you not to like some people.
You are Prejudiced
You may have grown to dislike some people not because of things they’ve done wrong but your feelings towards them.
Many times, this dislike stems from racial prejudice or ethnic differences.
Do you find that there is a certain pattern with the people you don’t like?
Could it be that they all belong to the same ethnic group and languages?
If so, you might just be prejudiced.
That might be the reason you don’t like other people and it’s a bad trait that you should deal with.
They are ill-Mannered/Disrespectful
Be it in the family circle, in the environment where you live, or even at the workplace, everyone desires to be respected.
People generally believe that you owe the other person courtesy and respect regardless of who they are or the position they occupy.
Hence, the phrase: “respect begets respects”.
Therefore, when you have interactions with people who are ill-Mannered or fail to respect you, it can make you drift away from them.
When you finally realize that this is a habit and not a one-off incident, you might grow to dislike them.
They are Dishonest
Well, except you are dishonest yourself and have accepted it as a way of life, you would normally detest liars and dishonest people.
Usually, we don’t want to be associated with such people, and we will do all we can to severe any relationship with them.
When you have such people in your workplace, they can make your job difficult for you and even cause a bad name and reputation for you and the organization you represent.
Hence, this bad trait might be a reason you don’t like some people.
We’ve Had Ugly Experiences in the Past with People like them.
Whether we like it or not, our past experiences have a way of shaping our present.
Sometimes, we might not just like some people because our intuition tells us not to.
It could be that we’ve had prior experiences with people who are similar to them in some ways, and we do not want to tread that path again.
These past experiences can affect us, so to speak, that we avoid some people, not because they’re wronged us personally, but because we do not just trust them.
Probably because they remind us of the past.
They are Overly Critical or Judgemental
Sometimes in life, we come across people who always question and criticize our moral choices, ethics, and values.
They fail to realize that there is an extent to which they can and should try to influence an individual’s life.
Such ones can be very critical and overly judgemental.
When we meet with such people, we naturally dislike them.
We are not interested in befriending them, and neither are we eager to forge a relationship with them.
This is yet another reason we might not like some people.
There are times when the dislike you have for some people stems from conflicts that have lingered for long and left unresolved.
It might even be that you were once cool or friends with such people, but gradually your relationship with them just withers due to quarrels or disagreements.
How to Deal with People You Don’t Like – What You Might Do When You Don’t Like Some People
Usually, when you don’t like some people, you feel it in your guts.
It is difficult to tell when you are not free with someone and when their presence irritates you.
However, if for any reason you cannot decipher whether or not you dislike someone, here are some things you would usually do when you don’t like others:
You Avoid Them
One of the most common actions we take when we don’t like someone, or a group of people is to avoid them.
This might be you decide to go another way when they are coming your way.
Additionally, when you find yourself in the same room with them, you tend to stay away from them and choose to stay in a different position in the room.
When you notice you constantly and consciously try to avoid some people, it is a glaring sign that you don’t like them.
This is because the opposite would be the case if you are fond of them.
You Always Disagree with Them
Another thing you might be prompted to do when you don’t like people and need to deal with them is to disagree with such ones constantly.
While disagreement isn’t always an indication of dislike, it is often a reaction when you do not like someone.
It might even be in the workplace where these bring up opinions and ideas during meetings.
Regardless of how effective and brilliant their inputs are, you will always find a ground to disagree with them on.
This is a result of the dislike you have for them.
You Don’t Share Things With Them
It is far too common to refuse to have anything to do with people you don’t like.
And that involves sharing things with them.
These things might include physical goods or materials.
It might also be in the form of information, knowledge, or opportunities that might benefit them.
This is because you do not like them, you will hoard such things from them.
You Stop Greeting Them/Talking to Them
Yes, dislike for some people might degenerate to the point where you stop greeting those people altogether.
Often, this is the dislike that stems from disagreements and quarrels that have gone unresolved.
This is one reason why you find that many employees are not on talking terms in most organizations.
This is because they have allowed their dislikes to make them stop communicating altogether.
You Talk About Them to Others
Another action you might take when you do not like some people is to try to ‘recruit’ others to join you to dislike them also.
You might feel so strongly about your dislike for them that you want other people to join you.
Before you know it, you might start gossiping about them and getting a lot more people to dislike them as you do.
How to Deal with People You Don’t Like
Regardless of how good you are and how easy you think people can relate with you, you cannot like everybody.
Like we’ve seen, there are some that your guts just tell you to stay away from.
Also, there are some other people whose attitudes and behaviors turn you off.
Whatever the reason, disliking some people is inevitable.
Therefore, here are some of the measures you can take to deal with people you don’t like:
1Be Realistic; Accept you Cannot Like Everybody
The first step towards dealing with people you don’t like is accepting that it is impossible for you to like everybody.
That is the truth.
You might have the best intentions or even be an extrovert.
However, there are still people you won’t get along with.
You need to understand that having people you don’t like doesn’t mean you are an evil person, and neither does it necessarily mean they are bad too.
Sometimes, personality differences are just responsible for this, and it is fine.
Being realistic about this can help you in taking the right measures to deal with it.
2Be Civil With Them
There are times when the people we don’t like and have to deal with are team me
We might have to see these every day and even work closely with some of them.
In such a situation, how do we deal with that? You need to be civil about it.
Being civil will mean not letting your dislike for them breed disrespect.
You might not like someone as a person, but you should still accord them certain courtesy.
Try to be calm and maintain decorum around such people.
With that, you can still maintain a professional relationship with people you don’t like.
3Identify What you Don’t Like
This is a very key step to dealing with people you don’t like.
You need to be sure of what it is you do not like about them.
Could it be something about their personality, the way they talk or act, their behaviors and attitudes e.t.c?
If you are not sure what you dislike in a person, it would be hard to know what to do to remedy or manage the situation.
Sometimes though, we might just not like some people because our intuition or guts tell us not to.
If that is the case, it’s also important to know how to manage it.
4Have a Conversation About Attitude/Behaviors you Dislike
Sometimes, we do not like some people, not because they are bad, but their behavior might be the problem.
In such circumstances, it might be best to have a conversation with such people.
This is especially important if these are people we once used to like or have to work closely with them regularly.
It might be best to settle the differences.
When having such conversations, though, avoid being confrontational or accusatory.
Remember that the goal is to explain why the person behaves a certain way or possibly get change them.
Therefore, avoid making statements that come off as blaming them or being harsh to them.
Kindly express your views and feelings, and you might even find that they are not aware that their attitude pisses you off.
5Set Boundaries When Necessary
Constantly seeing ing seeing or interactingwith someone you don’t like can be harmful to you physically and, most importantly, mentally.
That is why you need to understand that sometimes setting certain boundaries is the best way to go in your interpersonal relationships with people.
If these are present in your workplace, you can decide to limit the time you spend with them or even pick a seat away from them.
This measure is suited when dealing with toxic people who are a threat to your mental health.
Also, when you’ve tried to have a conversation with someone on their attitude, and they are not willing to change, you can some boundaries boundaries to prevent them from coming into your space.
6Learn to Not Engage Them on Everything
There are times when the best way to deal with people you don’t like is to try as much as possible to avoid engaging them on some things.
From your interactions with them, you understand that some conversations will definitely end in arguments.
In such cases, it might be best just to avoid it altogether.
So when you have people you don’t like, understand that you do not have to always get to ‘battle’ with them.
Choose what issues you need to deal with that are worth it.
Also, know those you might need to let go of.
This can help you avoid confrontational discussions and toxic encounters.
7How to Deal with People You Don’t Like – Show Empathy
It is also essential and beneficial that you show empathy.
So learn to put yourself in the shoes of others when dealing with people you don’t like.
This would involve trying to understand why they behave in a certain way.
Could it be that they do not even know that they have a bad attitude?
Is there a possibility that they are facing a situation that they have little control over, and this is affecting how they relate with you?
When you show empathy, you can see things not just from your point of view but the other persons perspective.
This might dissolve any feelings of hatred and resentment.
You might even grow to like them.
Unsurprisingly, some dislikes for people come from the fact that they have wronged us in the past.
Therefore, the resentment we feel and hold for them might make us be distant from them and not want to associate with them.
This is where forgiveness comes in.
Being resentful can affect you physically and mentally.
It can also impede your chances of forging relationships.
You need to understand that all humans are imperfect, and therefore we would always wrong ourselves.
It is, therefore, important that you learn the habit of forgiveness.
When you forgive, you let go of resentment, and you do not allow even the trivial issues to cascade into strong dislike or hatred.
9Look for Common Grounds
Suppose you work in an organization where you don’t like someone because of their likes or things they talk about.
The dislike only grows whenever such ones try to interact with you with that energy and on such subject matter.
It might even be that the dislike you feel is mutual.
In such situations, the best thing to do might be to find common ground.
Learn of things that you think you and the other party agree on.
Then when you are having conversations that are tending towards arguments on disagreements, find a way to redirect it to what you will both agree on.
That way, there is lesser friction, and the dislike for other things won’t get in the way.
10Get Help to Deal with the Person
Sometimes, the best way to deal with people you don’t like is to seek expert advice from professionals in conflict resolution.
Not going that far, you can also involve someone who is a mutual acquaintance when appropriate.
Especially in the workplace, if you don’t like someone and it is interfering with your work, you might need to inform your boss.
This can help to diffuse the situation or make amends.
Be careful, though, to ensure you take this step for the right situations.
And even before you involve someone else, it might be best sometimes to try resolving thngs with the individual personally first.
If they are not forthcoming with changes, you can then include a third party with the aim of reconciliation.
11Never Say Never
Whatever we do in life, and whichever position we find ourselves in, we will always need people.
They are our greatest assets.
Some people we dislike today because of their personalities or certain traits might be in a position to help us in the future.
Therefore, it is not right to completely shut the door on people just because you don’t like them.
You should understand that a character trait that is making you dislike someone might just be transitory.
It could be that they are experiencing a phase in their life that makes it difficult for them to be likable.
So, keep the doors open for reconciliation and never say never.
Who knows, you might grow to like them.
Wrapping Up on How to Deal With People You Don’t Like
You will not like some people.
They might be your family members, acquaintances, schoolmates, work colleagues, neighbors, business partners, customers, e.t.c.
That is fine, and it does not make you a bad person.
They might not also necessary be bad people.
Having this understanding would help you better manage the situation when you find yourself in it, and deal appropriately with people you don’t like.
Whatever steps you take, remember not to allow dislike to become disrespectful.
Also, avoid confrontations from all angles and aim at reconciliation if possible.
Furthermore, learn when to avoid certain conversations and know when to walk away from some situations.
In all you do, never say never and shut the door on them.
We have confidence in you that right from this moment, you can now take the wheel and deal with people you don’t like in the best and most effective ways.